(Poem) A Letter to My EX

(My Formal Apology to My EX)
-I KNOW YOUR SEARING PAINS WERE MY FAULT,
FOR NOT CHERISHING THOSE YEARS YOU SHARED.
-I KNOW I BROUGHT YOUR DREAMS TO A HALT
AND, THEN, CONVERTED THEM ALL TO NIGHTMARES.
 
-I KNOW GOD COUNTS A GIRL’S TEARS,
SO, I HOPE HE AND YOU CAN FORGIVE
THE MONSTER WHO HAS MAIMED WHAT HE SHOULD’VE HELD DEAR
AND A MAN WHO REGRETS HIS BETRAYAL EVERYDAY HE LIVES.
 
-I DEEPLY REGRET THINGS LIKE ALL OF THOSE TIMES
I ACCUSED YOU OF LOOKING A MAN UP AND DOWN,      
WHEN IT WAS REALLY ME DOING ALL THAT CRIME.
-I SPREAD UNEARNED LOVE AROUND TOWN.
 
-I’M SORRY FOR MAKING ROMANCE SO GRUELING
AND FOR MAKING IT AGONIZING JUST TO KNOW THE REAL ME.
-A HEART LIKE YOURS, I HAD NO BUSINESS RULING,
WHILE HIDING FAMILY, FRIENDS, E-MAILS, AND TEXT I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO SEE.
 
-FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SO STINGY.
-I APOLOGIZE FOR GETTING THAT SLEEVE TATTOO
-JUST TO IMPRESS THOSE WHO’LL NEVER LOVE ME—
MONEY THAT COULD’VE BE INVESTED IN YOU.
 
-FOR EVERY DOLLAR OF YOURS I SPENT,
I REGRET.
-OUT OF LOVE,
YOU LENT.
-OUT OF GREED,
MY LAST NAME WAS “DEBT.”
 
-FOR THE COLD CLINIC BENCH,
-I REALLY HATE I MADE YOU SIT ON THAT.
-I SLEPT AMONGST GARBAGE, SO TOXIC,
AND THEN BROUGHT YOU BACK RATS.
 
-I’M NOT WORTH A SECOND OF YOUR LOST SLEEP
NOR WORTH THE SMALLEST OF YOUR TEAR DROPS.
-I WASN’T WORTH ANY EMOTION THAT’S DEEP. 
I WASN’T WORTHY TO RUN MY FINGERS THROUGH YOUR RED TOP.
 
-I GUESS BEING SORRY AND APOLOGIZING
WON’T ALLEVIATE SCARS GOD SEES.
-BUT, THIS CONFESSION HAS GOT ME REALIZING
HOW GOOD THAT WOMAN WAS, WHICH I FORCED TO FLEE.
 
-I KNOW YOU MIGHT GLANCE
AT THIS, SCOFF, AND THEN CALL IT LAME.
-TO YOU, I’LL ALWAYS BE THE LITTLE BOY WHO STRUCK OUT
AND MISSED HIS CHANCE, 
PRETENDING THAT I COULD PLAY A GROWN MAN’S GAME.
 
-YOUR HEART DESERVES A SAFE SPACE
AND SOMEONE CHERISHING THE GLORY YEARS IT JOYFULLY BARES,
FOR THOSE DREAMS OF YOURS TO KEEP STEADY PACE
AND FOR ARMS TO HOLD YOU THROUGH ANY NIGHTMARE.

 

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About the post

All Entries, Cheating (The Unfaithful), Featured Poetry, The Work Required for Relationships

4 Comments

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  1. Amazing apology I know she will forgive you understanding your wrongs and sometimes our pasts contribute to our actions.

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    • Thank you so much for reading. I really hope that other men will read this and see the damage infidelity can ’cause and that it will awaken their conscience. Have a great day, ma’am. And, again, thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read this. 🙂

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  2. I love this. ❤️

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