Note: I dedicated this piece to an old friend of mine, Ruth Ramirez, at the time she had her miscarriage, with her second child. I sincerely hope this piece brought her comfort and warmth, in her time of grief, and I hope it brings the same to anyone else that has gone through this.
I dedicate this piece to those we never had the chance to know and who never had the chance to be known.
Through and Through
-Woven into this fiber with you, death‘s exhausted trying to pluck each thread, though I’m forced to admit I fear the day of its success. But, I take warm refuge in many comforting facts instead.
-Yes, death and life have cheated me. Yet, “fair and unfair” matter not when the kin’s golden words and their epic arms embrace.
-It’s much darker now when I close my eyes, but who cares when I can still see the light that is your face.
-It’s a sonographic image ingrained to the brain that’s oh-so-bittersweet.
-But, who of us could challenge His will? So I’ll accept images He gives to mangle my own defeat.
-I never dreamed on that day. I never dreamed in my sleep or my wake.
-My psyche, so warped and strung, was a pen dot to pain’s red abyss.
-I plunged off a liquor canyon and hit every bottle on the way down.
-I had Crown for a crown, a Bud for a bud, and a Mad Dog as a companion but no bond to fill your void.
-If only problems could escape through piss.
-That day will live in infamy as the Pearl Harbor to every hope and dream the Maker lets us muster.
-That day was empty to my stomach, but this yearning I could not give the name of hunger.
-Yet, even in your exodus my child, you refused to grant me access to sulk a liquored and teary river.
-I breathed you life and you did the same even in your departure.
-You’re memory’s my mento,r and you set fire to my soul and my spine to a quiver.
That was that day. This is this. You live in me in more ways that I can count. So, I know you hear me, like the eagle hears her hatchling’s call.
-I’ll weep, never out of weakness in this day, but in the temple of hope is where you and I both still grow. Let our laughs echo through these walls.
-Until that day your visual fills my eyes with a beauty until they can’t withstand, kin’s love will inspire and coach me.
-They’ll escort me through the forest’s thick black until the sun pierces through it.
-Through and through your heartbeat is unison with mine.It mixes the air we inhale. It pumps the song of our love, never truant.