Through & Through (Poem)


-Woven into this fiber with you, death‘s exhausted trying to pluck each thread, though I’m forced to admit I fear the day of its success.  But, I take warm refuge in many comforting facts instead.

-Yes, death and life have cheated me.  Yet, “fair and unfair” matter not when the kin’s golden words and their epic arms embrace.

-It’s much darker now when I close my eyes, but who cares when I can still see the light that is your face.

-It’s a sonographic image ingrained to the brain that’s oh-so-bittersweet.

-But, who of us could challenge His will?  So I’ll accept images He gives to mangle my own defeat.

-I never dreamed of that day.  I never dreamed in my sleep or my wake.

-My psyche, so warped and strung, was a pen dot to pain’s red abyss.

-I plunged off a liquor canyon and hit every bottle on the way down.
-I had Crown for a crown, a Bud for a bud, and a Mad Dog as a companion but no bond to fill your void.
-If only problems could escape through piss.

-That day will live in infamy, as the Pearl Harbor to every hope and dream the Maker lets us muster.

-That day was empty to my stomach, but this yearning I could not give the name of hunger.

-Yet, even in your exodus my child, you refused to grant me access to sulk a liquored and teary river.

-I breathed you life and you did the same even in your departure.
-You’re memory’s my mentor, and you set fire to my soul and my spine to a quiver.

-That was that day.  This is this.  You live in me in more ways than I can count.  So, I know you hear me like the eagle hears her hatchling’s call.

-I’ll weep never out of weakness in this day, but in the temple of hope is where you and I both still grow.  Let our laughs echo through these walls.

-Until that day, your visual fills my eyes with a beauty until they can’t withstand, kin’s love will inspire and coach me.
-They’ll escort me through the forest’s thick black until the sun pierces through it.

-Through and through your heartbeat is unison with mine.  It mixes the air we inhale.  It pumps the song of a love–ours–never truant.


Note: I dedicated this piece to an old friend of mine, at the time she had her miscarriage, with her second child.  I sincerely hope this piece brought her comfort and warmth, in her time of grief, and I hope it brings the same to anyone else that has gone through this.  

I dedicate this piece to those we never had the chance to know and who never had the chance to be known.

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